I love the rain. I love how it softens the outlines of things. The world becomes softly blurred, and I feel like I melt right into it.Hanamoto Hagumi, Honey and Clover (via larmoyante)
And now we’re supposed to go back to our normal lives. That’s what people do. They have these amazing experiences with another person, and then they just go home and clean the bathroom or whatever.Susane Colasanti, When It Happens (via larmoyante)
I know I said I was excited about the kids going back to school, but I forgot that it also meant they’d be on school time for weekends as well. 5:30 is really ugly on a Saturday morning when you know you’ve got to spend the day with six kids.
I’ve been feeling like hell lately. Mentally I’m all over the place. I’ve been working through some issues that shouldn’t even be issues. I have allowed myself to wallow for five months which should have been sufficient. I wasn’t anticipating out-of-the-blue questions from the kids. I didn’t think stupid songs and other seemingly insignificant little shit would still have the ability to make me so angry and so sad at the same fucking time. I thought I had better control over my emotions.
I have apparently perfected the art of torture, and have been forcing myself to date. Sort of. I dissected him. My favorite qualities, scattered. The Doctor. The Bouncer. The Chef. I’ve destroyed them all but The Chef so far… He’s still hanging on, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why he’s interested in such an obvious mess.
Stress is doing a number on my immune system. I’m run down. My body aches and I’m tired all the time. You know how you can tell when you’re getting sick - you can feel it coming on, and you know if you just catch it quick enough you might be able to fight it off? I am in a constant state of pre-cold and there’s nothing I can do to make it end. There are days where if I stop moving, I’ll fall asleep. I’m losing blocks of time… bits of my day, just gone and I’m so glad the kids are back in school because I can’t imagine being like this if they were home all day.
So that’s that. I know this will all pass. That’s the only constant in this life: nothing lasts forever, whether it be good or bad. Silver lining, I guess?